Family Guilty in Substance Abuse

You have a loved one who is suffering from substance abuse. It may be a child, a spouse or another family member. You know what they are going through because you see it. You know they cannot stop and you just want to stop for them. What can you do? How can you help?

Guilty Happens Often

For many families in these situations, guilty is one of the worst parts of the process. It is what causes problems within the family, too. Being guilty, though, is not the answer. Being supportive and offering solutions is. If you feel guilty, consider the following.

  • In many scenarios, families of those who suffer from substance abuse need to seek help from a therapist. The therapist will help the family, as a whole, to heal.
  • Family guilty requires acceptance. A family member must accept what he or she has done to contribute to the problem, such as giving money to the person suffering from drugs. However, this means making a change, too. You do not want to be the enabler.
  • Finding solutions is necessary. Within families where substance abuse is a daily problem, it is often necessary. This may mean moving, committing to change or therapy.

For those suffering from substance abuse, the real fact is, it can happen to anyone. If your family is supportive and has the means to do so, getting help is the route to take. This provides an opportunity for all in the family to get past the guilt and to get closer to the happiness.

 

Why Drug Users do What They Do

Addicts don’t start out thinking that they are going to become full blown abusers. It is usually a simple matter of partying a few too many times and the brain chemistry gets hooked. Some people don’t have an addictive personality, but have a wide chasm of emotional pain that is not being addressed and finds that drugs can take away that pain. Both scenarios demonstrate that drugs have a powerful effect on the human brain, much to our own chagrin.

Not all addictions start out the same way. Someone who partakes in drugs infrequently is not going to experience much in the way of any changes, if any at all. There simply is not enough use to change the brain chemistry. Addiction is insidious. It tends to happen with the user not being aware that anything is going on. Usually a craving for a substance is as easily dismissed as a craving for a favorite fast food. By the time the user realizes they are hooked, it is too late to turn back the clock. The brain chemistry and metabolism has changed to a point that it is convinced the body that it cannot live unless a hit is obtained. This is part and parcel of why it is so hard to kick a habit.

Another way addictions form is from a desire to escape ones own existence. Certainly addicts come from all walks of life. Just look at Charlie Sheen. But those who have had a poor home life in their younger years tend to gravitate towards drugs to relieve the pain of daily life. There are those who never had a solid upbringing, received nothing but abuse from the figures of authority, and feel as if the world has let them down. Drug use takes them away from their internal pain. Someone who has felt the need to self-medicate themselves live sad lives indeed.

Condemning someone for drug use and abuse is not seeing the whole picture. There are those who use as a cry for help, and they should not be ignored.

Defining Someone Who is Dependent on Drugs

There are two definitions of drug addicts: users and dependents. They are two completely separate diagnoses and will not overlap with one another. The irony is that a dependent type will be much more mellow and less likely to strike out at others than a user. The user is a more violent personality and has no desire to fix themselves, whereas the dependent wants to be quit of their habits.

When someone is a dependent, they are much more conscious of their addiction. By the time they realize that they have become an addict, it is usually too late. The individual does not like the whole idea of it, but does not have the tools to overcome. Because they want to be free, they tend to go to more extremes than the user in terms of use. Self-detox will happen frequently with extended periods of time spent returning to their previous level of addiction. For the dependent, drugs are a viscious cycle that is hard to break.

Over the course of a year, a dependent will usually see their tolerance to their drug of choice increase. This means that they need more of the substance to get a fix. To that extent, they will go out and make more of an effort to get satisfied for some time. All the while they are fully conscious of what their brain is after and don’t know how to stop it. In fact, they will shun social gatherings or turn down the opportunity to have some fun with their friends in order to get a fix.

This type of addiction is easier to treat as the user has an ongoing desire to be free of the substance abuse. When they are offered a hand out of the misery, they take it gladly and put more effort into the process. Many times a dependent drug user lack the tools to get away from their problems, not knowing how to find them. Rehabilitation centers offer the keys to the locks to help someone become drug free.

Casual Drug Use Can Lead to Addiction

So many people say “Nah, not me.  I’ll never get addicted to drugs, I just use them from time to time.” And a majority would be wrong. Becoming addicted takes time and creeps up on the user quietly. All it takes is one extra line of cocaine, or trying heroin one too many times and the unconscious part of the brain takes over, demanding more and more.

There are some individuals who never get hooked on drugs and can use them casually throughout their lives. These people have non-addictive personalities which means their brains don’t take ahold of the drug like an addict does. Many are fooled by the non-addictive, thinking that if someone else can get away with taking drugs and not getting addicted, they can too. And that’s a bad assumption to make.

Addiction of any kind changes the brain chemistry, even something as mild as a cigarette. There is some type of reward for partaking in the substance, which in turn starts to hardwire itself into the brain. The more that is consumed, the more the brain changes, and not for the better. Two parts of the brain, the hippocampus and striatum have been found to be the areas that respond to drugs. The striatum is especially implicated as it is responsible for forming habits. It results in that one day, the user wakes up to realize that they are addicted and have to figure out how to stop it.

The unfortunate issue at stake here is the fact that the brain has been irrevocably changed. Neural pathways have adapted to the consumption of the drug and the eurphoria that comes with it. There is no switch that can be turned off anymore. It is stuck in the on position for the rest of the addict’s life, in turn creating an every day battle with the desire to get a buzz.

Physical Manifestations of Methanphetamine Addictions

Addictions don’t only take their toll on the mind, they also take it out on the body of the user. Some do it over time such as alcohol abuse, and some do it quickly a la crystal meth. What cannot be denied however, is the fact that substance abuse of any kind will affect the body, and not in a good way.

Crystal meth is the worst of any drug when it comes to how it affects the body. The most obvious is what is known as “meth mouth.” Teeth literally rot out of the head after about a year of abuse. There is no getting away from tooth damage with heavy use. Meth creates what is known as a dry mouth syndrome, meaning there is no more saliva to protect the teeth. Add into the mix that users will gravitate towards highly caffeinated and carbonated drinks when not high, and the teeth are toast. There is simply no protection from acids for the teeth. It is not uncommon for a meth user to have to resort to dentures at an early age, or look 30 years older than they really are with sunken cheeks.

Meth addiction is simply not pretty. Sores are a common problem from those who shoot up and those who don’t. Shooters run the risk of infected sites from a lack of hygiene. Non-shooters will scratch themselves into sores, thinking they have bugs on their skin. Truly this is a drug with the most powerful addiction rate, even above cocaine. And the physical destruction that it causes is permanent.

It May be Time for an Intervention

A drug user affects more than just themselves, they also affect their family and friends. The abuser lies, treats everyone poorly, steals from them if they can, all for getting the next hit. They make everyone around them miserable, sad, upset, and angry. Who wants to sit back and watch while their loved one goes on self-destructing binges? There comes a point that those who care will either take action or walk away, and the user has to learn about this in no uncertain terms.

Coming to the point of needing an intervention is a slow process. It is rare that a full blown drug addict is created overnight. Habits take time to form and can be hidden from others for a very long time. What happens is that the problem goes under the radar until something happens to reveal the issue. Until the time that the problem is in the open, there will be little hiccups here and there, but nothing obvious. Objects will disappear, money gets “lost,” or the occasional “hey, I need a few bucks to hold me over” gets asked.

Problems start escalating when the user starts needing more and more of their drug of choice. After a while, it takes more and more of the drug to get high from as the brain becomes immune to lower doses. Addiction drives the user to desperate measures, ones they wouldn’t have tried if they were sober. A pattern of self-destruction emerges, one where the addict starts getting into trouble. It could be with family and friends, the law, losing a residence, anything that disrupts the basic needs of life.

Everyone involved in the addict’s life need to make up their mind to either come together and form an intervention, or to walk away. Ideally all would chose to do an intervention as it is a big slap in the face to the addict, usually with positive results. All who are involved need to realize that they have a job ahead of them as well, supporting the addict to become a successful ex-user.

Life After Rehabilitation

One of the most important things for you to consider when you decide to go into rehabilitation for a drug or alcohol addiction is that there is life after rehabilitation. Once you leave the rehabilitation facility where you overcame your addiction, your life is going to be in your hands once more, and you will be charged with taking the necessary steps to getting your life in order once and for all.

There are numerous steps involved in really getting a handle on your life once again following life with a drug or alcohol addiction and the subsequent rehabilitation. You will need to find a place to live and get a job that will allow you to support yourself. If you have not already gone to school, then now is an excellent time to consider getting a degree and finding a real career path. Individuals that have responsibilities are best suited for focusing and bettering themselves.

If you are working on bettering your life after spending some time in a rehabilitation facility, then you might want to consider an online university. An online course load will allow you to work for a living while supporting yourself. You can use services like EarnMyDegree.com to help you find the right course of action for your education and career future. An online school will allow you to get your life back on track because you will be able to attend classes on your own schedule and to work at your own pace until you are able to earn your desired degree. This is going to be the right type of learning for anyone that is focusing on a multi-faceted approach to overcoming a life of addiction or substance abuse.

You can pick up the pieces of your life and move on with the right education and the right attitude. Online courses will make it easier for you to get the help you need in starting over.

What is an Intervention?

If you have a loved one that you fear is addicted to drugs or alcohol and don’t know how to get them help before it’s too late-you may need to perform an intervention. The purpose of an intervention is to get the addicted person to to seek treatment. Intervention is defined as “getting involved in a situation as a way to stop an action or activity.” In terms of substance abuse, this means attempting to get the addict to stop using their drug(s) of choice. Interventions are usually held for those that have life-threatening addictions.

An intervention is usually called by a member of the addict’s family, and the family may ask the assistance of a substance abuse counselor to sit in and help. The addict doesn’t know that the intervention is going to take place, and the addict just believes that they are being invited to lunch or a family get-together. If the addict knew that the intervention was going to take place, they probably wouldn’t attend.

When the addict does show up to the intervention, they are usually very angry at being tricked and forced into treatment. The counselor (or person in charge of the intervention) attempts to assit the family members in telling the addict how important they are them, how much they love them and how much the addict’s drug addiction is hurting them.

During the intervention the addict may stay and listen to their loved ones read letters about how much their behaviors and actions have hurt them. These letters also serve as the final ultimatums from the family and friends. Such as not giving them any money any more, not putting them up in their home and no longer being in contact with them. After the letters are read they addict may choose or not choose to go to treatment. If they choose to go, treatment is already set up, and if not they leave the intervention alone.

Denial and Distraction

Taking steps to overcome one’s alcohol problem or drug addiction can take courage and know-how. There are many support groups available to assist one in this process as well as medical help. There also are counselors and psychologists to lend their support and expertise.

All of these organizations and individuals have the goal of helping people overcome their addictions and achieve full-recovery.

One of the main focal points is to overcome denial and distraction. One must be determined to have a addiction-free life free from dependency on harmful drugs or alcohol. With this aim firmly set in one’s mind it will be easier to go through the recovery process. One will be less distracted by activities and persons that can or may persuade him or her from the desired recovery.
It is essential for this determination to come about and this goal to be made, that a person recognizes the need for such a goal. Denial seems to be the first hurdle facing all those with a drug or alcohol problem. They may feel that others are over-stating their habits. They do not view their behavior as one that is truly causing problems for themselves and others. There is a tendency to blame others or circumstances for the troubles that are actually a result of the person’s addiction.

This is why many recovery support groups, such as the AA and its 12-step program, focus on overcoming denial. In fact the first step in the AA’s 12 steps to recovery is to admit that the addiction is overpowering one’s life. It is essential to realize that whatever the addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol or over-eating, that one realizes that it is consuming his or her life to the point that life is becoming unmanageable. Admitting one’s problem and that such a lifestyle has adverse affects is the key to overcoming the addiction.

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

In 1939 Alcoholics Anonymous published the original version of what would become the famous 12-setp program to assist those in truly overcoming their alcoholism. This program was not merely meant to give a little assistance, but to completely cure one from his or her addiction.

In the early 1950s, the fame and success-rate of this program was well known. Other groups and organizations started adopting and adapting these 12 steps over the following decades to meet other overwhelming challenges and dependencies such as those with drug addictions or over-eating problems.

The original 12 steps for Alcoholics Anonymous are as follows:
1. Recognition that there existed a powerlessness against alcohol and that there is an inability to handle one’s life.
2. Recognition that there is a Higher Power that can cure one’s addiction.
3. Make the choice to turn one’s life and will over to God.
4. Did a thorough review of one’s moral status in our lives.
5. Made known one’s wrong-doings to God, oneself, and another person.
6. Made one ready to have God remove the addiction.
7. Asked Him to take away the addiction.
8. Listed all persons harmed by our alcoholism and decide to make amends promptly.
9. Directly made things right between oneself and those affected by the addiction, unless it would cause them harm.
10. Reviewed our moral state on a regular basis and be quick to apologize for mistakes made.
11. Use pondering and prayer to strengthen our relationship with God to know His will for our lives.
12. Made efforts to share the Alcoholics Anonymous’ program with other victims of alcoholism. Use our new-found faith in all aspects of one’s life.

Note: In other adapted versions of these 12 steps the phrasing of particular words was altered to meet the specific needs of the group or organization. The main steps that were changed were the first and the last.
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